November 22nd, 2007
What if I am never this happy again?
((Still alive & kicking))
July 11th, 2007
|09:50 pm - Well then.|
Although college has tried its hardest to turn me into a natty-chugging slut, I have retained the best of of my dorkdom.
The OotP movie last night was great! I enjoyed it much more than I anticipated. (Probably because Ginny both kicked ass and took names.)
Current Mood: chipper
October 30th, 2006
I thought I'd state that I'm alive and well; too well, I have no time for anything but the things I do. These things include: scheduling debates with bitchy democrats, wishywashy Republicans - eating Lunch with Sara 5 days a week - doing about half of my homework - spending quality time with Silly Sean - ranting at my roommates, and vice versa - hoping for a break.
Ooh, and wearing my laceless converses. I think that once you go converse, you never go back. Oh, and my polka dotted headband. To be quite honest, those are some of my biggest sources of joy at this point in time.
I'm really having a wonderful time, with wonderful people. I'm so happy that I get scared sometimes that it will end. It has to, doesn't it? They say that college is the best time in your life... and while I suspect I'll enjoy being a soccormom all-too-much, the irresponsible, shoe-crazy blonde in me believes them.
My only complaint: there's not enough time to read.
Current Mood: chipper
June 30th, 2006
|01:00 pm - Important!|
Because I have those tickets to "An Evening with Harry, Carrie and Garp" on August 1st, I get the chance to send in a question to each of the authors: JK Rowling, Stephen King and John Updike. I need ideas. What would you ask each of these authors?
For JKR, I'm thinking something about Regulus Black... but we shall see.
Current Mood: contemplative
June 17th, 2006
Me (to Julia): So, I saw the new Pride and Prejudice last night.
Kevin (overhearing): Is that the one with the pilgrim chicks?
June 12th, 2006
After a weekend of watching him read my british copy of Chamber of Secrets -- riveted -- he's gone back home. Insert my glittering triumph upon getting him hooked here. I really need to start scrapbooking my France trip now... I want that done before I go to Mexico on the 20th (with the family) and the Dominican Republic (with him) on the 4th. I sound like a completely spoiled brat, I know. But these three vacations just happened to align in the same summer, and, trust me, I'll be interning too hard every other summer to match this again, ever...
Still, I'm very excited about the next two months. Cause, you know, August 1st I see JKR live in NYC... XD
You all came through beautifully when I was down about my friend. Many thanks.
June 8th, 2006
|12:19 pm - Help?|
I had a best friend all year at F&M. She was one of the first girls I met and we were fast friends... we went together well, as both of us like to migrate from group to group and we lived on the same floor... we were together pretty constantly, joined at the hip. We had our differences, of course. She was on the ridiculous College newspaper (infamous for its poor punctuation and grammar) and I was on the intellectuals magazine/paper, too much like the New Yorker for its own good. It has it's niche readers, but no universal popularity. Now, here lies the metaphorical difference between us, and don't think that I'm being arrogant when I state this fact, it is just true: while I was the more intellectual half, she was the half that everyone first loved, giving me the push through the door.
She freed me. Before this year, I was shackled to bashfulness, for the most part. I didn't realize that, wow, the GIRL -- me -- could go after the BOY. She did it many times, and eventually, I got the idea. I threw myself at a couple guys, but to no avail for a while. We were thick as thieves, and, I posture, hanging onto each other like surrogate boyfriends. At least, that's how it was in my case... I was lonely, except for her. She was everything I wished I could be, and was gradually changing me for the better.
But there's where the issues arose. I found myself the Boyfriend I had longed for, someone I trust implicitly, etc, etc... and I had less time for her, a natural course of things. Before, I had always been waiting around for her, waiting for her to come back from dance class, etc. In the second semester, I had found some new friends that needed their time, and she began to lash out at me.
As a fact, I must state that she lashed out once a month, whenever she was PMS. I know how trite that sounds -- but perhaps when one is in that aggravated state, true feelings, suppressed, can emerge? Who knows. But it came like clockwork, once a month... the first fight was a shock. I endured a short 12, maybe 14 hours of her angry silent treatment before I cornered her in her room and cried for forgiveness. I didn't know what she was angry about, I sobbed. But whatever it was, I could fix it. I could change.
I have never had any pride when it came to people being angry with me, no matter what the circumstances.
Come finals week eve, however, when we had a different kind of brawl -- not the silent treatment, but an actual verbal attack from her, designed implicitly to hurt me where I'm weakest -- my weight -- I ran out of patience. After, of course, crying to get her to apologize, I didn't see her for a day, prefering, naturally, to give us some space. That evening, at a CollegeDISPATCH party (the rebellious magazine), she showed up and was passive-aggressive, aggressive-aggressive to me. She was nasty.
I would endure no more. I avoided her, although not entirely purposfully because it was, indeed, finals week -- one has time for few people aside themselves. We were not at literal war, apparently, as my close friend invited her to go to lunch with the two of us -- Heather accquiesced, but remained passive-aggressive, rolling her eyes at what I had to say and making things awkward. To compensate, she was extra nice to everyone else. I was happy to see that many weren't falling for it.
After lengthy silence this summer... (and two failed IM attempts of mine to re-establish contact) I text messaged her yesterday in a fit of nostalgic gloominess created by the weather,
"Ephemerality keeps leaking from the dizzy-gray rainclouds. Haven't heard from you in awhile, fault to... who knows? Fate? Hope you're doing alright, or better."
Her response, finally, this morning,
"Lets thank fate for the much needed separation and hope that any serendipitous reunions occur only after we both honestly consider ourselves, our needs, and our true friends."
Now I need help. I am tempted to reply many things, such as "We should also consider how cutting off communication and deliberately provoking people can damage relationships" or "You have forgotten we must consider our actions, our MOTIVES, and patience, as a virtue, still not being infinite." But I doubt anything too straightforward would help the situation, but I wonder... do I want to help the situation? Every cubic centimeter of my body wants to beg for reconciliation, such is my nature. But she's never been the truest of friends. She went after our other best friend's boy (they are no longer friends) and, in the end, got him. There are arguments as toward whether she did this on purpose. She also has the history of never sticking with any group of people long, especially not BEST friends... the anti-thesis of myself, and my obsessive loyalty.
But I don't know what to do. There's no way anyone who doesn't know her can truly tell me, I suppose, but even if one more person recommends I grow a backbone, that may help. For the last five months, I've felt like that battered wife, coming back for more... but why? Because there has to be something that I did, doesn't there? My problem is -- that, I cannot decide.
June 6th, 2006
Alive and well and very happy. He makes me happy. I'm not going to lie -- it is probably the source of most of my current happiness. Happy happy happy.
May 28th, 2006
France was this: adgjklgfjklagj;gda;kglj.
It was glamorous and beautiful and amazing and, oh, the cafes.
And Sean even came to the airport with my mom (getting his ear talked off on the way, of course) to pick me up, roses and all. We've been ridiculous for the last few days, all "I missed you"s and "I love you"s.
He's also reading Sorceror's Stone for the first time. The conversion begins!
Current Mood: loved
May 13th, 2006
Off to France now. A Bientot!